


too many war wounds, not enough wars

by kilauea



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: First Times, Implied Underage Sex, Implied abuse, Implied substance abuse, M/M, five times they did one time they didn't, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-09
Updated: 2015-05-09
Packaged: 2018-03-29 17:24:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3904657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kilauea/pseuds/kilauea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>he calls you beautiful, and you're starting to believe it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	too many war wounds, not enough wars

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Brass](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brass/gifts).



> number two is where the handjob scene is. it's not that detailed/graphic, but if you want to skip it, you can. it's also vaguely mentioned in number five, along with the abuse and substance abuse.
> 
> for a prompt on ask.fm, daiyama + firsts

_i._

the first time he kisses you, it's in the supply closet. people are around, activity is high, and it only lasts for about a second before he's pulling away and you're left weak in the knees. but it feels like it lasts for years, makes you feel like you're flying, and you just can't stop smiling.

_ii._

when touches you, it's like being caught in a whirlwind, a tsunami, every natural disaster you can think of. and it's just his fingers-his strong, thick fingers, wrapped around you, and you feel more than a little pathetic. you want to tell him how good you feel, you want to make him feel even better, but he's got a hold of you around the waist so all you can do is whine, clutch at his shoulders, and beg for release. 

he calls you beautiful, and you're starting to believe it.

_iii._

your gaze slowly slides to him. he has such a strong profile, it doesn't matter that you have to look down at him. he takes up the room, shoulders broad and thrown back proudly, and when he smiles, you can't help the answering twitch of your lips, even though he's directing it at the waitress. he catches you in the act, and you quickly look away, even though you know the question is coming.

" what? " he asks, almost, self consciously-and that notion has you smiling some more, peeking a glance up at him. he's got this confused look on his face, like he can't decide whether to be happy-curious or wary-curious. it doesn't help you in wiping that smile off your face.

" nothing, " you reply. but you're thinking that he's beautiful like this, open and honest and so, so strong.

_iv._

" you don't have to practice so late! i can see how tired you are, you need to take care of yourself.

" you're not my keeper! i appreciate the sentiment, but i'm fine. "

" you're _not_ fine, tadashi! if you don't get enough sleep you're gonna-- "

" ... tadashi? "

" a-ah, forget it, it slipped out i didn't mean-- "

" ..... i don't mind. i'll.. i guess i'll go tell shimada-san that i can't make practice tonight. "

" thank you.. "

" you're welcome.. d-daichi. "

_v._

the first time you get your heart broken, it's at the hands of the first person you ever loved. the first person you thought actually loved you back. he promised you that he wouldn't forget, but here you are, midway through your second year, and not a word since he went to university. not a word since he held you after his graduation and told you that a little thing like graduating wasn't going to end it. 

you're in the bathroom, and it feels like you're breathing through glass shards in your chest. you can't seem to get a breath in, you're suffocating-the walls are pressing down on you, and even when you burst out and run out of the school, you can't get away.

it takes two years of distancing yourself. of drinking away your young and healthy liver with anything that's handed to you, on pumping yourself full of whatever drugs are shoved into your arms. of fucking whoever showed interest, of letting yourself be fucked by whoever you chose that night.

it takes two years for you to be able to breathe again.

_addendum:_

it takes four years to find him again.

you're laying in his arms, in his bed, with him plastered into your back, and it still feels surreal. you reach down and touch his hands, to be sure that this isn't a dream. when he threads your fingers together and strokes a thumb over your wrist, you think that, maybe. maybe it isn't. in all your dreams, you could never recreate the spark that raced over your skin whenever he did that. you both are older, stronger-you've both lived, and maybe it'll work out. you can't dare to hope, but you can't seem to squash the bubbling feeling down, either.

his words, whispered reverently against your ear, rouse you out of your daydreaming-

" i love you, tadashi. i promise i won't leave. "

it's not the first time he's made that promise. but it was the last.

**Author's Note:**

> I BLAME KAIT FOR THIS BEING MY FIRST AND ONLY PUBLISHED WORK
> 
> I ALSO LOVE HER, VERY VERY MUCH.


End file.
